omgitsnils:

goddamnitobama:

So last night my mum wouldn’t let me have any sweets because she said they were all for the trick or treaters so i put this mask on and went out the back door and went around to the front and said trick or treat and she didn’t recognize me and she said “since i don’t think we’ll be getting any more tonight you can the rest of this bag my daughter will have them otherwise” and then i went back in

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i love myself

vanehwasreal:

i aM FUCKING HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER

"at my school the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see ‘em and they got passed back the cop had 4"

fatphrodite:

#ThatsHowIUsedToDrawBirds
nobodyspecial21:

Someone jump on me like that and kiss me
hiloou:

X

krocatoo:

Having to google internet slang your friend is using because you have no idea what the fuck it means.

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